Your husband's porn addiction can easily plunge you into the "Victim Trap"! In this confusing and hopeless place, it's virtually impossible to progress forward on your own pay of healing from Betrayal Trauma.
It's critical that you learn HOW to LET GO of his recovery—that you cease being distracted by his "stuff." Focusing on his issues will drain you of the energy you need to work on your own issues—especially your own HEALING.
When you allow yourself to be pulled into "victim mode," (often unknowingly) you give away your power—the power over your own happiness. And in this state, you can end up trapped in a perpetual cycle of hopelessness.
It's SO easy to get stuck in the trap of basing your own "inner peace" on his "external actions" and choices. This approach will produce endless frustration! And it usually ends up in a bitter separation or divorce.
The great challenge is that IF you have focused all of your energy and attention on his recovery, then you have neglected your own healing and wellbeing. You will end up carrying all the "emotional baggage" into your next relationship. - One of the first steps to breaking out of the Victim Trap is to insist on ACCURATE, HEALTHY ACCOUNTABILITY and BOUNDARIES in your relationship. Here's a PBSE Podcast episode where Mark and Steve talk about these issues in detail—
Want to learn more about HOW break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage