For your marriage relationship to not only survive but most importantly THRIVE, you must have healthy "boundaries"! This is certainly true when you're straining under the heavy burden of Porn Addiction and Betrayal Trauma. Here are some important insights that might help you with this critical "marriage skill" of setting and holing boundaries—
Some couples have asked, "If we love each other, then why do we need boundaries?" True love shouldn't be full of restrictions, right? After 40 years of marriage and working with couples across the world, I can make a bold declaration—"LOVE is NOT LOVE unless it has BOUNDARIES!"
Another common concern I hear is, "But isn't setting and enforcing boundaries just one more thing to worry about? Isn't it just exhausting?!" In my experience, it is FAR more exhausting to live in a marriage without boundaries! While a free-flowing, serendipitous, "you-do-what-you-want-and-I--do-what-I-want" approach might seem to work for awhile, in the long-run, NOT having boundaries will steadily grind the marriage down, create DISCONNECTION and very likely dissolution.
Because of the way we were raised in our families, communities and even our religious cultures, we can easily view boundaries as a "punishment." In reality, healthy boundaries are actually a "LOVE MAP"—a simple and powerful way to guide each of you on the path to true intimacy, connection and happiness with your partner.
There are some Key Components to setting good, healthy boundaries. There are also some practical, positive ways to hold and enforce boundaries when your partner doesn't respect them.
For more insights about the bullet points above, listen to Mark and Steve's podcast regarding "boundaries"—