Because of the “all or nothing,” “perfection or failure” mindset many porn addicts tend to have, it’s easy to get caught in the insidious trap that tells you, “I have to overcome this right now, once and for all!” When struggling individuals first begin applying the principles found in my porn addiction recovery program, many quickly experience a level of initial recovery success. Then, when they experience a slip or temporary relapse, they can become discouraged and even hopeless. As one who went through the rollercoaster ride of temporary success/euphoria and relapse in my early recovery, I know how devastating it can be. One of the keys to recovery success with any addiction or negative behavior is to remember,
Porn Addiction is "Habit on Steroids"
Habits, positive or negative, don’t suddenly spring up over night. They take time, repetition and reinforcement to develop. If we desire to change or replace a habit, we must follow the same process that developed it in the first place—time, repetition and reinforcement. Addiction is what I call “habit on steroids” and has a profound "habit-rewiring" effect on the brain. We develop and reinforce addictions over time—especially porn addiction. Can we reasonably expect to replace the addiction with healthy habits in the blink of an eye?
Recovery is a "Series of Successes"
Here's a comment from a former client who struggled with pornography addiction for many years. It illustrates the concept, “Recovery is a journey”—
“You told me early on that on my recovery journey I would see progress and successes I once only dreamed possible. That was encouraging, but I really didn't believe it. Now I know better."
"I have come to appreciate your use of the word “successes” rather than “success.” That’s significant to me because I do feel like I’m having daily successes but I still sometimes feel like I’m fighting for my life. I might not have “success” as defined by being 'cured' or this addiction being forever absent from my life, but I am having 'successes' every day that I used to think would be impossible. I remember my dark addiction days and what it was like to be a full on addict and now I feel totally different. And I'm thinking and acting different. Every success I have proves to me that I have my ability to choose back again and it's incredible!”
Your Progress isn't a Fluke!
"I also remember you told me, 'Your progress isn’t a fluke.' That was very powerful and applicable to what I’ve been thinking and afraid of. I’ve been afraid lately that all my successes have just been a white-knuckling phase and that it can all slip through my hands at any moment; that I’m not doing good enough in the program to deserve the “successes” mentioned above. I love your recovery principles and tools because they help me put into words, describe, and pay attention to the mindset this addiction has put me into in the past, and help me shift to a whole new way of thinking and behaving. I now know my progress isn't a fluke at all, but the result of me working the program and using the tools everyday. The cool part is that it works if you work it."
It's a Learning and Growing Process
This client really gets to the heart of recovery when he realizes that it’s a series of “successes,” a series of daily steps, one built upon another that allows us to progress down the recovery path. And what you find in recovery is that it’s the journey that becomes the most meaningful—the learning, growing, falling, getting up and continuing forward, and achieving in ways you never dreamed possible. And most important is that along the way you’re learning to be patient, kind and compassionate with yourself; to love and believe in yourself; that you’re a being of infinite worth and potential; and that you ARE succeeding every single day. The Reclaim porn addiction recovery program is designed to be there with you, every step of the way.