What happens when you face a "Pornography Addiction Relapse"?
The Fallout of Relapse—
For the Porn Addict: Hopelessness, shame, resignation, apathy, "Eeyore mode"—emotional volatility and variability.
For the Spouse: Often forced to be the absolver and confessor—she feels like she must set aside her pain to be there for him, or feel like she is insensitive for taking care of her own needs.
For the Couple: Often left feeling hopeless, exhausted and less motivated/energized to recommit and try again.
Breaking the Cycle of Relapse—
For the Porn Addict: Showing up from a place of proactivity, accountability and transparency. Learning "shame resiliency." NOT waiting to be asked about relapse; reaching out to people other than a spouse for support; rather than just saying "I'm sorry" to a spouse, present and then ACT on a plan to move forward.
For the Spouse: Setting and enforcing boundaries; taking personal space as needed; detaching with love; reaching out to your own support system (other than your husband).
For the Couple: Meeting in the middle; making "sincere" amends; collaboration on a plan going forward to prevent future relapses.
For a LOT more on the enormous challenge of relapse fallout and breaking the cycle of relapse, check out Mark and Steve's latest podcast—