By Divine Design we are built to feel natural, healthy attraction for other human beings. In fact, there is more real estate in the brain dedicated to "sociality" than any other focus—we are made to desire a healthy "connection" with other people. But there is a LINE—the line between healthy attraction/connection and lust, objectification, fantasy, obsession and porn/sex addiction. Where is that line?
In a recent PBSE podcast, Mark Kastleman and Steve Moore openly addressed this often controversial topic. Here are some highlights—
- Healthy connection is having a FULL appreciation for another human being and connecting in way that is appropriate and respectful. Lust/porn addiction is the selective "warping" of attraction to meet one's selfish, internal neediness—usually through escape, fantasy and an effort to self-medicate and numb out.
- Healthy connection embraces and appreciates (loves) another person with authenticity, transparency and vulnerability. Lust/porn addiction isolates or "cherry-picks" certain components of another for a selfish end.
- Healthy connection operates within relationship boundaries and doesn't come at the cost of other relationships—either with others or self. Lust/porn addiction sacrifices the relationships with others and with self.
- Healthy connection is an equal, transparent, authentic and mutually beneficial giving and taking--both in the relationship are built up, edified and uplifted. Lust/porn addiction ALWAYS takes and even if there is some level of giving, its intention and end goal is self-centered.
- Healthy connection is focused on delayed gratification; building something of true worth that can last--it is always sustainable. Lust/porn addiction is focused on the moment; shallow; impulsive; dysfunctional and results in long-term emptiness. It is NEVER sustainable.
For more, check out Mark and Steve's podcast—
Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video
Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction
Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn
How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage