"Gaslighting" is a term that is talked about a LOT in today's world. It is especially prevalent among men who struggle with pornography and sexual addiction. Out of extreme fear of being discovered and/or in an effort to manipulate so that their addiction can go unhindered, men will engage in the destructive practice of Gaslighting. Even men who have a genuine love for their spouse, will "throw her under the bus" through gaslighting. Why?
Gaslighting has many underlying "core causes" including—
- It stems from a "distorted definition/view" of what love is. This distortion was often picked up during childhood through dysfunctional family relationships, abuse, trauma, religious culture and other influences.
- It often comes from a place of intense "self-protection" and fear of discovery.
- Gaslighting can be an "ego-brain" strategy intended to keep the "go-to-place" and "self-soothing" of addiction secret and undisturbed.
- There's a powerful neuroscience behind gaslighting—it's a "Limbic System" response and driven by the "fight–fight–freeze" mechanism.
No matter how doomed a marriage engulfed in the darkness of gaslighting may seem, there is ALWAYS HOPE! The addict CAN move from the deep deception of gaslighting into the light of complete HONESTY and TRANSPARENCY! You can mend your marriage.
In this PBSE podcast, Mark and Steve talk raw and open about their own struggles with gaslighting and narcissistic tendencies during their dark addiction years. And HOW to start breaking free!
Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video
Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn